I Was Proud
and now, not so much
There was a time when being American meant something to me—not superiority or bluster, but a kind of quiet faith. A belief that we were part of an imperfect but forward-moving experiment. That for all our contradictions and failures, we were trying to become better. The arc wasn’t smooth, but it bent toward something more inclusive, more just.
That belief didn’t shatter in one moment. It eroded—slowly, subtly, and with help. And if I had to trace it back, I’d start with Reagan.
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When President Reagan told the country “government is the problem,” people cheered. It sounded good. It fit on a bumper sticker. But it planted a seed of distrust that grew like kudzu. Rather than reform what was broken, we learned to scoff at the very idea of collective effort. Cynicism replaced responsibility. Institutions were weakened not by enemies, but by neglect and contempt from within.
Then came Trump, not as a glitch in the system, but as its logical outcome. He didn’t just disrupt politics; he disfigured the idea of public service itself. Under his watch—and with the enthusiastic backing of millions—truth became optional. Rules were for suckers. Grievance was currency. We weren’t arguing about policy anymore. We were arguing about reality.
What had once felt like a slow but steady evolution now feels like a freefall. Norms that held us together were mocked. Guardrails that prevented chaos were casually kicked aside. The very idea that we’re in this together has eroded to the point of parody.
And yes—we did it to ourselves. Willingly. Repeatedly.
Well… maybe with a little help from Putin.
This isn’t about nostalgia. It’s about the quiet, steady unraveling of a shared national purpose. The pride I once felt has been replaced by a kind of civic grief. Not just for what’s been lost—but for what we may no longer have the will to repair.
I don’t know if we’re doomed. But I know we’re off course. And the longer we drift—angry, divided, unmoored—the harder it will be to remember what we were ever trying to become.
*Note: There were half as many federal workers under Biden than in Eisenhower’s administration.
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